I think I just realized something about myself. I don’t give myself much grace in some areas- at lease not the areas in which I consider myself proficient. I’m very logical. I’m very strategic. I’m very responsible. I research, compute, triple check, and double check. And I TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. Perhaps that’s why I become annoyed when people point out the obvious, or tell me things I think, they should think I already know. It’s crazy.
I made a mistake last week and I’m having a difficult time right now giving myself grace. I feel full. I’ve already cried, so now I’m blogging, so I can flush it out and then get back to my day. I need your virtual ears. I don’t feel like talking about it. For an introvert, talking can take a lot of energy. I don’t have extra energy right now. I’m upset with myself.
So, last week I needed to give an address to someone. I remember the moment I received the text. I was working on something. I felt stretched. I felt stressed (I don’t do stress), and I quickly replied to the text with a business address, but I left off the suite number in my haste. Now, as I try to deal with two different packages that are part of the same shipment, I’m again dealing with UPS and their sub-par customer service. This is the second issue I’ve had with this company in two months. I have much better results with FedEx. And this is important. Very important and I can’t get anyone on the phone? This is business. How is it they aren’t providing support for business? But if I hadn’t messed up, I wouldn’t have to rely on their customer service at all. So, here I am again-blaming myself for making a mistake. Irritated by the fact that I left off the suite number when something was so important.
There are a few facets to this. I’ll explain.
1. I hate wasting time. I’ve called so many times and spent so long on hold- for nothing. Now I want confirmation that they’ve received my email. Calling didn’t work. The virtual chatting didn’t work. And I was supposed to be doing other things on my checklist today! Grace Kelsi, grace.
2. For one of the packages, the internet says it’s in transit and the automated service says it was delivered on 2/12. I don’t even know how to mentally process that. I want a voice on the phone! Oh yeah, they aren’t able to offer that right now, as a result of COVID-19. I feel like using a curse word. Seriously. Grace Kelsi, grace.
3. If I’m able to pick it up at receiving center, both boxes are 40 lbs. and I have to carry them pretty far to the parking lot. Not much weight? Hmmm, remember less than a year and a half ago, I couldn’t walk, lift my arms or my head. I’m very careful about what I pick up as to not trigger my back as it begins to lock very easily. So, here I am. All because I forgot to put the suite number in a text. And when I consider all I was dealing with last week, I need to give myself grace and trust things will work out. I won’t strain my back, I will have my packages in hand, and most importantly, I’ll learn this critical lesson. Mistakes DO happen even in the midst of important circumstances. I need to give more grace to myself and others. This has humbled me. Even while trying to be mindful, I made a critical error. I’m allowed. I guess. Yes, I’M ALLOWED! Grace Kelsi, grace.
I will categorize this as a new opportunity to trust God. Logistically, it is a MESS! But it isn’t too messy for Him. One day soon (and it needs to be soon), I will have my packages and all will be well. And I’m going to love myself in the process. Grace Kelsi, grace.
Let me know if y’all want me to update you as to how it all works out 😉 !!!