I can’t remember ever being “normal”. And to be honest,those who REMAIN my friends and close associates have learned to accept and appreciate that about me. Others have “bounced”. One thing I am NOT, is more of the same. Ever since I was young, when I’ve tried to “be like” others and “do like” others, I was the one who had to get caught, be punished- taught a lesson. I was the little girl that secretly prayed all of the time. I would watch animal kingdom with my grandparents and as the lion would chase the antelope or the deer, I’d be praying for the prey. I was catholic, so all my grandparents saw was me making the sign of the cross repeatedly. I could hear them whispering, “Is she praying? Why the girl pray so much?” And then encourage me. I remember getting my (catholic school) report card and my father chastising me about some of my grades (in my household, a “C” was UNACCEPTABLE) and I remember saying, “Daddy, you didn’t comment on my “A” in religion!” And he said unless I was planning to be a nun, what good was that going to do? I used to plead with God to have my uncles come to me for prayer. I could envision myself laying my hands on their foreheads. Ironically, this was waaaaaay before I knew anything or had seen anything about “laying hands”. It’s just a vision that I know was by the unction of Holy Spirit.
Into my teenage years, I tampered in the things most people do. I’ve done more than some and less than most. But at 21 He stepped in when I called and sought and KNEW there HAD to be more. Upon being led into the ministry of intercession, I FINALLY understood why I took on everyone else’s hurts-why I felt them as if the thing had happened to me or affected me directly- why I cried and hurt so much for what didn’t directly concern me. And shortly after, He explained to me why I can’t do and get away with the things others do-what EXACTLY He required of me. I understood and took heed. There were moments of near physical death and then, of conversion and ever since I’ve been inundated with common opinions that “it doesn’t take all that to serve God”, “you put too much on it”, “you’re no fun” and the burden of being different to a point that it’s left me undesirable to some. Now we know people don’t REALLY want to lose their lives as Jesus admonishes. We like that natural man and the natural tendencies. They’re comfortable- UNTIL you know and have tasted better!
He REQUIRES me to hold people accountable just as He’s put people around me to hold me accountable. REAL love is always encouraging the BEST of someone to COME FORTH. The tough lesson I’ve learned is that not many want it for themselves. It’s much easier to conform and assimilate to the world- and you remain a LOT more popular, well received and “relatable”. How many actually want to choose God over that???
There have been times I’ve had to be isolated from those “closest” to me. Times God required me to show and prove my allegiance. There was a spiritual bootcamp when my ENTIRE life was consumed by intense training in the things of God and the spirit realm. There were trips, occasions, general life stuff that I had to sacrifice. But I look back now, and I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING. MOST of my life- even to present day I’ve been misunderstood and “un-understood”, but I’m comfortable in my shoes,who I am and what He requires me. And THAT took MUCH TIME. What and who is for me, I SHALL have. And I’m EXCITED about the heartbeat and hand of God that governs my movements and affairs. It’s worth the rejections, the loneliness, the verbal attacks, the slander, the deceit- I count it ALL joy for what I have apprehended in turn.
Finally, there has been one who through ALL of my awkwardness, BELIEVED it was for a reason and a greater good. One who told me early on to stop comparing my life experiences and lack thereof to that of others’. Who told me that ONE DAY everything would make sense even though she had no answers or understanding to give me- as it was far beyond her reach. But some things a person can just KNOW. And what she always KNEW and communicated was that things would work out and that everything would be alright. Only now, I believe it as well.
Today, I salute my mother, Gloria Lorene Franklin for being there when people told her not to- For enduring the harsh words and criticism on my behalf- For doing nice things for me and supporting me when people accused her of just spoiling me. People have spoken blindly, without knowing the truths that were carved into her heart. God chose her as my mother before the foundation of the world and He equipped her to mother me and release me back to Him. To God Be The GLORY. We are a match made in heaven. And I want her to know that I KNOW!!!
I love you Mommy. Thank YOU!!! May He bless us to watch TOGETHER and see what the end is gonna be.He’s FAITHFUL!!!! Selah…….