I’m praying for my sisters in Christ – that all of us will learn to REALLY have our being and our our confidence IN CHRIST. I realize that we live in a celebrity culture rooted in demonic approval addiction. This approval addiction causes us to fear man’s opinion of us, fear telling the truths that others don’t want to hear and fear living a life that goes against the more popular grain. We want to be unique enough to be noticed, but not different enough to be set apart. We have an unhealthy desire to be liked, accepted, agreeable, admired, and we seek to gain attention from people whose attention doesn’t even yield any benefits for anyone. Why on Earth would it flatter you for someone ELSE’S husband to compliment you? Check that!!! Like a child (and many are still children at the emotional level), we just want attention. Whether it is positive or negative and no matter who it is from, attention….a glance, a double take, a smile….makes us feel relevant. Why does it take the action or approval of another for you to know you’re relevant? So, to “improve” ourselves we hit the gym, lose the weight, color and cut our hair, buy a new lip gloss, wear new outfits and call it CHANGE. No dears, that is (as Mo Ann used to say) putting a band-aid over a bullet wound. When the change doesn’t happen in the INNER MAN, from the inside out, at the SOUL level, we are just living as a thinner, more physically fit version of the same depressed, anxious, fearful, bound, dysfunctional, desperate woman that we were before wearing new hair, lip gloss, and clothes, but lacking peace, security and a true sense of purpose. That is not your true identity!!! Now you know why no matter what YOU do, you can’t feel better.
Honey, if you feel unloved because you aren’t married, you aren’t letting your Father love on you properly. Allow yourself to be healed of those “daddy” issues BEFORE marriage so that you can make a sound and Spirit led decision when accepting a suitor’s offer for matrimony. You do know HE should PURSUE you, right? A suitor won’t suit you if he isn’t willing to PURSUE you. If you don’t believe you’re worth being courted, why should he? And when you watch him “court” someone else, you’ll wonder why you weren’t given that consideration. But what did you accept? That’s another post.
The best compliments I’ve received from my family was being told they KNOW I pray for them and that when they come to me for prayer, things change. Posture.
The best compliments I’ve received from my friends is that when they have asked me not to repeat something, they have never heard it come back to them and our friendship is a safe place in a world full of hurt, disappointment and betrayal.
The best compliment I’ve received from a man (a suitor) was that as he pondered the possibility of marrying me, if I ended up gaining weight and being “this big” (he motioned the size of the table we sat at), it wouldn’t matter because of the warmth in my smile and my eyes. He said he’d still be excited to come home. And if in my old age or an unforeseen circumstance, I couldn’t “care” for myself, he’d do it without hesitation, because of how my voice and words of encouragement soothe his mind and heart and that he’d just be thankful I’m still here, because that is what he needs MORE than my physical attributes.
Those sentiments blessed me because they had NOTHING to do with outward appearance, but my pursuit to be a good DAUGHTER first. They caused me to repent for the places I miss the mark, ask God to help me love Him MORE and empower me to be a living, breathing instrument of His love.
Father, help us keep the MAIN thing, the MAIN thing. Nothing else is eternal and without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please you.