Don’t Box with God!

A little over a year ago, I listed a house to sell. In a short time, I was heading out of the country and really wanted to be in contract by the time I left. No problem! I just KNEW it would be an easy sale. The house was only a year old! I prayed, had it staged, invested in a great marketing system, and scheduled my OPEN HOUSE dates. I honestly expected to only have to do one OPEN HOUSE though. I knew this particular floor plan was limited in this development and was in high demand.
The most ridiculous things started happening. And I do mean ridiculous. I fell out of contract before the ink had a chance to dry. At that point I had been in real estate for twelve years and had never heard of such a thing that happened, happening. JUST BIZARRE!!! Then, there was all of this interest, but no bites for no particular reason.
I go out of the country trying to manage phone calls while I’m a whole day ahead and busy with a full schedule. When I returned, the client was in danger of losing her deposit and another house that was being built, because her offer was contingent (upon the sale of this subject property). It was a MESS that made NO SENSE!!! I WAS STRESSED OUT!
Finally, one Saturday morning I prayed, “Father, I need you to show me what is going on. In warfare I have You on my side and I don’t struggle like this. I’m out here getting mollywapped, and that is leading me to believe I’m not fighting the enemy, but that I’m fighting YOU. I know I can’t win a fight with you! Am I fighting You? Are You keeping the house from selling???”
*ding*ding*ding* I had finally asked the right question. I offered the right prayer. He revealed the house hadn’t sold, because He wanted ME to move into it. Only this meant a relocation. A relocation I hadn’t planned for. A relocation I didn’t want!
I asked Him to confirm it while I was out of town that weekend at a prayer retreat. I vowed I would obey His answer, I just needed to be SURE. He confirmed. I cried for a week before asking Him to deal with my heart concerning the matter. I was expecting to relocate, but I thought it would be to Dallas or LA. I wanted my heart’s desires to match His. I didn’t want to obey grudgingly.
Two months later, I was out!!! And let me tell you this. It wasn’t until the morning after I spent the first night in the house that I walked out of my bedroom and realized I NEEDED the move. I had been suffocating and didn’t even know it. I had become so used to my atmosphere, that I didn’t realize the season was up, and that staying longer would have put me out of alignment with the next leg of my journey. Time was of the essence. There were connections that needed to be made, and relationships that needed to form. And my face needed to be in the new territory for the hand shakes and dinner dates to happen. If you’ve ever traveled, you know that “connecting flights” are critical and are the reason you do or don’t get to your destination on time. Sure, we’d all like a direct flight, but sometimes paths need to cross, a person critical to our journey is flying out from a different airport, and is en route to wrap up an assignment in a city we aren’t designated. The connecting flight the two of you have in common reveals the next move to and for you both!
Lots of supernatural occurrences happened throughout this transition, but I will abstain from sharing for now, due to the length of this post.
My point: Because of our humanity, we don’t like to suffer. We don’t like discomfort. And often times when we encounter discomfort, setbacks, suffering and/or a lack of fulfillment, we assume it has to be the enemy. Not so!
Sometimes it is God! Sometimes, He’s pushing us to higher heights, deeper depths, and a place of humility and service that is outside of our comfort zones and realms of familiarity. We’re being pushed out of the nest! Sometimes the pain and inconvenience is TOTALLY GOD!
Look at Jesus! NOTHING was comfortable or convenient about His trip to the cross, yet it pleased and glorified God.
Submit, surrender, and don’t give up. He’s got a plan for you, and it is GOOD even when the process FEELS contrary.
Oh and let me tell you this…. the house that wouldn’t sell? Yeah, the one I live in! There hasn’t been ONE month that has passed since I submitted and moved in, that someone hasn’t called to buy the house. Some are rather aggressive asking when it will be back on the market! What can they offer!!? When God holds something up, He holds it up! When He releases it, He releases it! He holds the POWER!!! When we strive with Him, we WILL NOT win!

Guilty!!!

I’m guilty. I don’t just mean in the past, but lately. I’ve been guilty of frustration. Guilty of impatience. We do know that patience isn’t waiting right? We’re going to wait regardless when it comes to what only God can release. Patience is actually waiting with the right attitude. We can murmur, complain and pout while we wait, or we can trust, praise and rejoice in the promise that is on the other end of our wait.

I became frustrated, because I couldn’t understand the point. I couldn’t understand why He has revealed some of the things He has, if CLEARLY some of the things aren’t coming to pass any time soon. Sometimes, when hope hurts, you’d just rather not know. Ignorance can be bliss at times. But when He reveals His plan and purpose you have to deal with the burden of conforming to His divine schedule. So I ask questions like… why did you show me if I was just going to remain irritated by the process? Why did I even have to know?

He had a talk with me today to remind me that it isn’t about my conveniences, but His purpose. And He also reminded me that cooperating with Him during the process is the same as cooperating with Him for the plan itself. A sous chef doesn’t get the credit, but certainly has responsibilities and must take orders and execute as the meal is prepared. The longer a sous chef works beside an executive chef, the more they learn, and the better they become.

So AGAIN, my heart has been restored. I needed it restored AGAIN. And I told Him tonight, that I commit to his purpose AND His schedule (ARRRGGGGHHHH it’s KILLING ME…. I guess that’s the point). I desire to execute my role in His plan with complete synchronicity, virtue and excellence. I am walking this out WITH Him. It’s His plan., so it will be accomplished in HIS time. Inhale… Exhale… Inhale….. Exhale…

Psalm 119:133 is my anthem right now. No iniquity!!! No iniquity tied to doubt, fear, frustration, impatience, bitterness, intolerance, pride….. NO INIQUITY!!! (If you read the scripture you’ll get what I’m saying)

We should feel honored to have a role at all!

Perspective is key….Selah

Year We Go Again…

I’m like WOW right now! This exact time last year I was stressed. I believed the Lord had given me specific instructions, but His directives seemed so out of nowhere and nearly impossible, I just wasn’t sure. I was like “are you really telling me to do this?” “Why?” “This wasn’t part of my plan…” I went to a retreat BELIEVING He’d make Himself CLEAR and I’d return with my answer. I told God that I would obey whatever He revealed. At the retreat, He confirmed and I knew it would take a miracle for things to work out. I told a few prayer partners and EACH of them bore witness in their spirits. One in particular had a vision of the completed miracle it would take. Let me tell you, after I said yes, I was TESTED!!! I was yielding to something I didn’t want to do, but knew He spoke. I think I cried every day for a week. On top of that, it seemed IMPOSSIBLE!!! I began to doubt I heard Him. If this is what He willed, then why was it so difficult??? One particular day, my prayer partner reminded me she’d had the vision. She’d already seen it completed. I rested in His ability to bring His own will to pass and focused on aligning my heart (and desires) with His. Long story short, the miracle happened- quickly. He put everything together beautifully, and some…. I didn’t realize until I was on the other side of the whole thing that I NEEDED it and that it was best for me. He didn’t let me see that part until AFTER I obeyed (catch that). 

Now, here I am a year later exactly (from the weekend He confirmed His will), with a new set of instructions and a revelation that looks even more impossible. I’m being stretched AGAIN. I’ve been crying AGAIN. And AGAIN, I told Him I’d obey. Go figure!!! Faith to faith and glory to glory right? It ain’t easy. I was just thinking today….I’m yielded, but how in the WORLD is He gonna pull THIS ONE off??? I guess the same way He pulled the last one off, His own way! I’m like Kermit sipping tea right now, how He does it is none of my business. Let me just make sure my heart is right and I’m prepared. Sometimes one miracle is the set up for the next one. #livingbyfaith #battletested #kelsichronicles #doitafraid #kelsimarie

Seasons Change…

Seasons change. I have loved people that I’ve had to release, whether because of death, marriage, miles or just the expiration of a season. As life shifts, sometimes configurations change. You’ve heard it before, you have some relationships for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Not all endings are bad and bitter.
That said, I cherish the moments, use my words, write letters, send messages and give gifts. I know I mustn’t hold on and prolong anything beyond the season for which it is purposed. I must yield to His plan and respect His course. My endeavor is to make sure that when one reflects across the miles and memories, the sunsets and secrets, the gifts and gains, when a person remembers me and thinks of our time and season of doing life together, they remember honesty, safety, laughter and loyalty…and they simply remember being loved. ❤️❤️❤️ #kelsimarie

Missed Opportunities…

I remember one day at church many years ago, the Holy Spirit told me to go ask an older gentleman…a seasoned elder in our church to lay hands and pray for me. I came up with every excuse imaginable. I was embarrassed to ask. I was afraid of how I would sound. What do I say? Then I said, “Okay, next Sunday…I’ll ask next Sunday.”
God knew, but I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw Him. You really never know when an opportunity will expire…when your season with a person will end.
I’ve repented. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll never know what he would have imparted. I’ll never know what God’s intentions were. I’ll never know how my obedience would have affected my life. My flesh would love to believe I didn’t miss out…that it’s all good…that somehow, some way, SOMETHING has made up for it. But I know God and I know He ALWAYS instructs with purpose.
Years later, I stopped by my parents’ house and my father surprised me and wrote a check. I looked at the amount and said, “Thank you Daddy!” I was in a rush!!! I got to the door and had a fleeting thought to run back and kiss him and tell him I loved him. I didn’t. I was running late. I told myself I’d just come back in a few days. It was the last time I saw him. He passed two days later.
My lesson…there ARE missed opportunities!!!
Sometimes people know what they can’t tell you. Some time later I told my mom I wished I had turned around and run back. What harm would 90 more seconds have done? She told me she asked him what prompted him to write me that check that day. His response, “It’s the last gift I’ll ever be able to give her.”
Friendships expire. Seasons change. Doors close. People die. Folks move away. Life carries people in different directions. Winds of change are often unexpected…. The BEST we can do is maximize moments, make sure people know we love them and that they’re appreciated. Leave a good mark, something that makes people smile when they think of you or remember you.
And WHATEVER He is telling you to do. DO IT!!! Sometimes we’ve only got ONE SHOT to get it right and divinely timed for purpose. Mediocrity and settling present opportunities all day, everyday, as long as you’ll take them.

Jesus IS the middle….

The truth for a Christian, whether you’re ready or not, whether you like it or not, is that Jesus IS the ministry of reconciliation. He is SUPPOSED to be the CENTER of EVERY relationship you have, whether it’s marital, friendship, parental, sibling or otherwise. He will allow EVERY relationship you have to suffer and fall apart, just so that He can reconcile it and be the center of it. No, not to be mean, but because only through Him….only by Him being at the CENTER of the relationship, can you experience the FULLNESS of the blessing the relationship is intended to be. He HAS to be the center!!! I’ve been ruminating this revelation for about three months.
Here’s an example:
Isaac was a promise for Abraham. Sometimes we desire a promise so much and wait so long that when it manifests, we idolize the promise. We serve it and have a greater affection for it than we do God. Sound familiar? God desired to be the CENTER of Abraham and Isaac’s relationship. He has to be the middle, the reconciler. And when Abraham lifted the knife, he proved his faithfulness to God. He chose God over his son, therefore God gave his son back to him (provided a ram in the bush). At that point God became the mediator, the CENTER of the relationship, His rightful place. With order established, every future blessing God intended for Abraham to have through Isaac, could be given. He HAS to be the CENTER!!! Make Him the center so that He doesn’t have to SHOW you He’s the one keeping it together!!! (One of the many things I’ve learned from Bonhoeffer ❤️)

Proverbs 31 Women Know This…

Another confession: In my twenties I spent most of my income on clothes and shoes. I could EASILY not repeat an outfit at church during a year’s time or not wear something for years and come back to it. One time I gave away 30 pairs of black heels and had plenty pairs of black heels left over….(notice I didn’t even mention the other colors, that was just BLACK). I felt crummy about myself on the inside, but I made SURE I looked great on the outside! 

There is NOTHING wrong with liking clothes, shoes and the like…but when you have no money to eat, are constantly dealing with overdrafts and can’t even take a vacation because one fire could destroy your entire “portfolio”, something is off. 

And priorities…. When you won’t go do something that is majorly important (like church for instance) unless you look a certain way, something is off…. You just may be protecting an “image” like I was. 

When you’re fiscally responsible, you spend money (after giving) first, on what makes more money. Once your businesses, savings accounts, and investments and such are in a good place, you spend the money you have left over, to play with, instead of playing with the money you’re supposed to be living on. And I personally believe we SHOULD play hard, vacation and enjoy this Earth!!! Yet and still, good stewardship means keeping things in context. 

How much do we give just to give-expecting nothing in return? Bill Gates & Oprah have a lot- but they GIVE a lot too! The law of seedtime and harvest 

applies to ALL! Believers shouldn’t be the last to catch on!!!

I still like nice things. I may not “look” the way I used to, but when I do, there will be something behind it and God will be pleased with my stewardship. I almost want to quote E-40, but I won’t. 

#thebreaking #grownupstuff #kelsimarie

So Right I Was Wrong…

I had a really bad habit that came from a very sincere place. Because I didn’t want to deal with negative or painful emotions in a way that is unbiblical, I found myself making it a habit to not deal with them at all. I know how dangerous and destructive the spirit of offense is. I noticed how some people were so self-centered, EVERYTHING seemed to offend them FOREVER. People who operate in a spirit of offense will become bent out of shape over the most minor violations. I didn’t want to be a whiner who always went on and on about who did what this time and become stuck in a place where I couldn’t let anything go. I didn’t want my hurt or anger towards people to interfere with my ability to love them as I am commanded.

What I noticed was that several times I endured injustice when I probably should have stood up for myself. You see, some people are of weak enough character, that if they CAN take advantage of you or mistreat you, they will. They don’t have an inner conviction that would steer them otherwise. I also found myself sad and crying DAYS later only to search my heart about what was bothering me and find it was something mean, vindictive, dishonest, manipulative or destructive someone had done. And since I didn’t want to walk in “offense”, I shrugged it off and didn’t deal with it in a timely manner.

I’m sharing this with you today JUST IN CASE I’m not the only one. It is not God’s best, nor His will for you to voluntarily remain in a position or posture where you are abused and beat down. Doesn’t that sound like bondage or slavery? He whom the Son sets free is free INDEED (John 8:36).

-Remaining in tumultuous relationships where there are vicious cycles of abuse is not “admirable”. So if you stay, don’t say it is because it is what He wants or planned for you. Be honest about the fact that it is a fruit (albeit a sour one) of your choice.

-If something hurts you, allow yourself to FEEL. One of the best pieces of instruction I’ve ever received was when Holy Spirit told me to be still and GRIEVE. He needs a clean palette to work in, with and through. Cast all of those cares to Him (1 Peter 5:7)- He can handle it!

-Remember that the sin isn’t in the honest feeling(s), but in HOW you choose to process it / them. There are times we need to repent for the way we feel and ask Him to do a work in our heart as we open it to Him. There are times we need to admit anger, hurt and frustration and then yield it to Him, asking Him to strengthen us to process it biblically and in a way that glorifies Him. We are never instructed to ignore feelings that are honestly there!

-Ignoring your feelings isn’t noble. Not allowing your feelings to rule your actions and yielding your heart to God’s instruction about life events and how they impact you (including the actions of other) is. Acknowledge Him in EVERYTHING and then let Him lead. There is no hurt on Earth that He cannot heal.

And remember, time does NOT heal all wounds. I know some old and bitter people. Some people end up diseased because of all the dis-ease they have carried. It is God in His timing who can heal ALL wounds…when we let Him.

Say this prayer with me…. Lord, help me not to tie your hands in my life. Amen.

I love y’all. Remember, God is good and Clarity Is Divine​!!!

It’s OVER!!!

So, there’s been road work by my home for the past 22 months. The detours have caused delays and visitors to the area to become lost. Businesses have complained about the losses in profits – it has just been a mess! The kind of mess that had me checking the city’s website for a completion date and always noticing it needed to be updated more often. THIS WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO TAKE A YEAR!!! 

When you want to go west, a windy road will lead to the freeway eventually. If you want to go east, EXPECT DELAYS!!! There will be a train crossing your path, but only when you’re in a rush. 😊😉

Well eventually, as you can imagine, I no longer needed to follow the detour signs. I had the detours down pat. I stopped looking to see if any progress was being made, I just followed the detours as the blocked road and extra time driving became what I was used to. 

Then it happened….A few days ago, I noticed a car in front of me go straight as I made my right to follow the detour. Don’t they see the sign! They’ll have to turn back! Don’t they see all of us turning right, taking the detour!!!??

Wait a minute, the car disappeared! Wait! Hold on! ….

I made a u-turn in the middle of the street (sorry) to see where this lone car wandered to and… ALAS! I drove straight through!!! We have access again!!!

Wait, how long have I had access? How long have I been following the detours, because I didn’t LOOK to notice there were no more signs up?

How often do we become so used to delays, messes and dysfunction that we no longer look for the completion date, the END that was promised? 

I knew this situation was prophetic and I immediately repented and prayed. I repented, because somewhere along the line, I stopped expecting the road to be complete. Somewhere along the line, I became tired of being disappointed every time I looked for a “through street” and I just stopped checking! I had been taking detours longer than I had to!!! 

I asked the Father to OPEN MY EYES and reveal every place in my life where I have stopped expecting, become stagnate and accepted delays and detours as though they belong in my life, and thus extended and strengthened their presence. Some stuff is no longer blocked!!! I wanted to share this experience and prayer so that you too will look for the changes you stopped expecting to see. There are some areas where you are no longer hindered. You have FULL ACCESS!!! Drive right on through- LET’S GOOOO!!!!! 

IT’S OPEN & OVER!!!

I’m Unraveling….Join Me!!’

I’m a planner. I like order. I create forms, checklists and systems to make my life flow easier. I write things down and organize. I believe in preparation. There is so much beyond my control, so I try my best to make sure that what is in my control is taken care of and properly planned. If things go awry, I’d rather it be because God allowed it or wanted things to go differently than for it to be because I didn’t prepare well or  complete my tasks. I don’t like suffering when it is MY fault- talk about depressing! So I try to use good judgment and I’m careful with decisions. All of this is just a quirk in my personality, but it’s Kelsi all the way. When my home isn’t clean, I get anxious. I don’t like the way clutter makes me feel. I like seeing lines in my carpet (from the vacuum cleaner) and unclean bathrooms (anywhere) send me THERE. I don’t move (residences) a lot and I pray before EVERYTHING, not only to honor God, but (I’m admitting) to minimize regret. I like SURE moves because they are STABLE. Stability is important to me. Even before salvation, for me, Vegas was never a place for gambling (I think I did nickel or quarter slot machines ONLY), simply because of the risk involved. If I was going to spend my cash, I wanted to have something to show for it. 

In case you haven’t noticed, all of this is about maintaining my comfort, and SANITY. Well, recently I’ve decided to yield my comfort, sanity to God on a deeper level. I have ASKED for an opportunity that is going to challenge my systematic, methodical, “plan everything out so nothing messes up” self!!! 

You see, I want to free fall so that He can catch me. I’ve learned to live on a little after having much more. I’ve learned to sacrifice the “look”, the “clothes”, the regularly scheduled hair appointments, the “only shopping at this or that store”, the “never repeating an outfit to church more than once in a year”, the “switching purses everyday”. All of that seems so silly to me now. Don’t get me wrong, I STILL like nice things, but there was a time I put more concern and energy into my image, than I did my actual walk or prayer life. I’ve been broken and stripped in ways people would never know unless I told them. There are so many things that were “important” to me that had to become less significant so that I can keep in CLEAR VIEW what is REALLY important. It hasn’t been easy, especially when you watch others, and comparing is NEVER wise. It has been downright humbling and painful BUT what it has done in my walk with Him, cannot be measured. What I have experienced in HIM cannot be bought!!! Besides, I KNOW the day will come when all is restored. 

Again, I’ve decided to go DEEPER, because I want so much more of Him. No matter what I’ve lost, or where I stopped working, how lean my bank accounts are, or how much less my yearly financial contribution at church is (has anyone else ever been embarrassed by that and then convicted by the Holy Spirit, realizing the pain of it is really about pride), I realize that with all the things I’ve learned to live without….I can’t live without Him!!!! And I want MORE of Him.

So I’ve asked for this particular opportunity that is going to challenge the area that I’ve still held tightly and kept so neat….everything and everyone concerning my personal space. It’s going to challenge me and I’m going to look for Him and to Him at every turn. When I feel like I’m going to lose my mind, because I can’t “plan and prepare” concerning this, He is going to find it (my mind) and continue transforming it!

Anything that ceases to grow & produce is dead!!! 

I’m yielding….DEEPER LORD!!!! 

I challenge you today to think about what you’ve been protecting. Think about what would make you come completely unglued and give it to Him. There is nothing wrong with our personality quirks! He created us to be individuals!!! It’s just that EVERYTHING concerning us, every quirk and aspect of our personalities, need to be yielded to the instructing, shaping and character molding of the Holy Spirit!!!

#kelsimarie