Guilty!!!

I’m guilty. I don’t just mean in the past, but lately. I’ve been guilty of frustration. Guilty of impatience. We do know that patience isn’t waiting right? We’re going to wait regardless when it comes to what only God can release. Patience is actually waiting with the right attitude. We can murmur, complain and pout while we wait, or we can trust, praise and rejoice in the promise that is on the other end of our wait.

I became frustrated, because I couldn’t understand the point. I couldn’t understand why He has revealed some of the things He has, if CLEARLY some of the things aren’t coming to pass any time soon. Sometimes, when hope hurts, you’d just rather not know. Ignorance can be bliss at times. But when He reveals His plan and purpose you have to deal with the burden of conforming to His divine schedule. So I ask questions like… why did you show me if I was just going to remain irritated by the process? Why did I even have to know?

He had a talk with me today to remind me that it isn’t about my conveniences, but His purpose. And He also reminded me that cooperating with Him during the process is the same as cooperating with Him for the plan itself. A sous chef doesn’t get the credit, but certainly has responsibilities and must take orders and execute as the meal is prepared. The longer a sous chef works beside an executive chef, the more they learn, and the better they become.

So AGAIN, my heart has been restored. I needed it restored AGAIN. And I told Him tonight, that I commit to his purpose AND His schedule (ARRRGGGGHHHH it’s KILLING ME…. I guess that’s the point). I desire to execute my role in His plan with complete synchronicity, virtue and excellence. I am walking this out WITH Him. It’s His plan., so it will be accomplished in HIS time. Inhale… Exhale… Inhale….. Exhale…

Psalm 119:133 is my anthem right now. No iniquity!!! No iniquity tied to doubt, fear, frustration, impatience, bitterness, intolerance, pride….. NO INIQUITY!!! (If you read the scripture you’ll get what I’m saying)

We should feel honored to have a role at all!

Perspective is key….Selah

Who is YOUR “Delilah”…

Isn’t it interesting that no matter how much we say we love God, no matter how often we wave our hands and tell Him to “have His way”, one area of life many people struggle to yield to God is the area of personal relationships? We hear the common adages like “the heart wants what it wants”, yet the word of God makes it clear that our hearts are “deceitfully wicked” and that the one who puts confidence in his heart is a fool (Jeremiah 17:9 & Proverbs 28:26). Does that mean that we shouldn’t trust that we love who we love? Not necessarily, but we definitely shouldn’t automatically trust those who we love. When prayer isn’t a part of our selection process, we tend to rely solely on attraction and affection, with no substantial indication that a person is a safe influence for our present or our future. I can list how many times a person I know has suffered heartbreak and/or divorce and admitted that although they prayed, they moved forward in establishing a relationship without waiting for a “yes” from God or moved forward despite Him answering “no”. “The heart wants what the heart wants” right? Unfortunately, a heart that doesn’t crave God MORE than its natural desires, isn’t submitted to God, and will always proceed blindly, risking devastation and loss, just for the comfort of the flesh. The question I pose here is: Should God bother answering our [fleeting] question if we haven’t ceased movement along our desired path? If I ask Him if I SHOULD go to a particular destination, while grabbing my keys, entering the car and driving, haven’t I already made up my mind? Is that really the same as consulting Him PRIOR to deciding?

As a single woman, I am often asked what my “type” is. I typically answer that while I don’t have a “type” and don’t want to limit God, I just want to be attracted [even physically] to my husband. I know that the attraction can be comprised of a variety of attributes. At the end of the day, someone who is merely a “type” may be void of the spiritual, mental and emotional characteristics that would make me a better woman, person and Christian. Am I willing to sacrifice what is most important to allow my flesh to LEAD? I think I’m crazy enough to believe that God’s choice for me will be attractive to me on every level necessary for me to achieve the maximum amount of [Godly] success I can experience on this plane. I’m trusting, so check back with me later.

After all, considering all of the trouble my flesh has gotten me into, why would I let it lead? An Adonis lying next to me when I wake up is of no benefit if I’m hurting and miserable on a consistent basis. If your blonde haired and blue eyed beauty isn’t fiscally responsible, do you proceed? If the coke bottle figure never tells the truth, would you be content? If the sultry Jessica Wabbit doesn’t aide your progress on your spiritual path, is the arm candy enough to keep you fulfilled? Rather than stay focused on the cookie cutter “type” that hasn’t gotten me anywhere in the past, I suppose I will let God surprise me and trust that He knows His daughter.

Samson was a judge and well respected in the community. With all that he was able to accomplish, he never yielded to God, his desire for foreign women. He was SUPPOSED to steer clear of them, but they were his “type” and so he went!! His marriage ended tragically, but perhaps he never made a connection between the tragedy, his broken heart and his poor choice. So, he went after the same type. He wasn’t healed, nor delivered, therefore the same desire took the lead. Have you ever noticed how often someone has been deeply hurt by a relationship and the next person they gravitate towards has the same physical characteristics? It’s as if¬†subconsciously¬†they are replacing the person to alleviate the sting of the loss. Are they possibly putting a different personality into the same shell? Is the next person the “next best thing”?

You cannot tell me that Samson didn’t have any native prospects which would have guaranteed a much better ending. Surely there were native prospects that could have whispered to him and more importantly, been faithful and loyal. But there was something about the forbidden fruit and the illegal interaction. His heart wanted what his heart wanted. And it turns out that the “type” that had a hold on his heart, completely STUNTED HIS DESTINY. The only safe dictate for our hearts, is the one that comes from God Himself. His heart wasn’t clean in the area of selecting virtuous women. Before Delilah he kept company with a prostitue. The lust in Samson’s heart craved his own demise.

How many times has your “Delilah” – the one you were helplessly attracted to, led you astray? Three times Delilah showed him she was after his strength. How else would she have known that the methods he shared with her were false?

Poor Samson, he wasn’t thinking or praying, he was just too busy feeling. “The heart wants what the heart wants”. What’s in your heart? What is the type that you crave? Where has it gotten you? Better yet, WHO is YOUR Delilah?

Jeremiah 17:9 AMP – The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, morally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]?

Proverbs 28:26 AMP – He who leans on, trusts in and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly wisdom shall be delivered.

Read the story of Samson and Delilah in the 16th Chapter of Judges…