Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

Here We G.O.A.T Again…

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This Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

GOD IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIMES AND REMAINS UNDEFEATED!!!

Last month I spent a few days in Puerto Rico. I REALLY needed the time away and was quite grateful my friend invited me and my mother to hang out and relax with her and her mother over a long weekend. I own five businesses. Five. Not all of them are public knowledge. My point is, I often feel the weight of a lot on my plate. Each of them carries a unique stress. Delegating has become a strategic ally.

I’m one of those people who needs a significant amount of quiet time. Too much noise without a break begins to feel like chaos to me. I get dressed in silence in the morning and I LOVE it. I’m engaging with God, hearing my thoughts, casting some of them down and embracing others. I’m not saying others can’t do the same through the news or music blaring, I’m just saying it’s a distraction to ME. This is one of the reasons I don’t share hotel rooms. Have you ever noticed that people who like to listen to music while getting ready in the morning, tend to assume everyone does? I’ve found it quite strange for anyone to SPLIT a room and do something that completely changes the atmosphere without asking how the other person feels about it. Now if someone is in YOUR room that you’re paying for solely, that’s different. And please don’t be a guest in someone’s room (not paying) and turn on the television or music without asking the host…that would be a bit rude, no?

Back my story. So, while in Puerto Rico, I took full advantage of the natural sounds. On one side of her mansion was the beach and the ocean maybe 100 yards from her pool, if that. On the other side of the house was the rainforest. I’ll put it this way, no one there needs to buy nature sounds on any app or machine. The birds, bugs, reptiles, whatever all of them were…the sounds were so clear. So very bold. I felt quite immersed in nature. Large crabs crawling around, their claws “click clicking” the asphalt. The 3-4′ iguanas in the front yard every morning. It was a different vibe altogether. I believe that helped me to dive into the recesses of my soul where these muddled feelings were. I was away from all distractions and expectations. No one passing my office and then stopping in and plopping down despite the fact they saw me typing, or reading, or on the phone.

In this quiet, with no deadlines, I began to feel a subtle ache in my heart and I was free to investigate what I was feeling. Finally some “me” time. No one asked why I stayed in my [guest] room for hours on end. No one pressured me to eat, binge watch with them or do ANYTHING when I didn’t feel like it. They just let me BE. It was just a wonderful time of relaxation. I had an opportunity to pause and begin processing some things that have been paining me the last few months. I had been FEELING very disappointed and let down. Of course feelings don’t always portray the truth. And that is what I needed to get at. I needed to see what was going on from God’s perspective, the perspective of His truth and not my bias towards my feelings, interests and perspectives.

A painfully fruitful process began that day and culminated last Friday morning. When He was done answering I felt light enough to SOAR. What had been bothering me and weighing me down was no longer an issue. This past week I moved in to practicing what He taught me and things have felt so much better over all. What I realized in Puerto Rico was that I had to bridge a gap between what I understood cognitively and what I actually embraced in my heart. Cognitive dissonance is dangerous. Sometimes your feelings have to catch up with your faith and if you aren’t intentional about the progress, it won’t happen.

I have six points to share with anyone who has endured a turbulent season relationally. If you find yourself hurt or frustrated over something that has pained you before, and part of your frustration is that you’re here again, this may be for you. These are the six steps that brought me OUT and I have no plans to return. Ultimately, I’m responsible for my feelings about something and hoping someone else changes or alters their thoughts or actions so that I can feel better is a bit too much to expect and the power for ME to feel better should never rest in the hands of another.

Point #1- Don’t beat yourself up over what you’re sensitive to.

Maybe you watched your next door neighbor care for a chicken from the time it was a chick to a full grown hen. You watched her give eggs to neighbors in need. And then you witnessed her grieve when the mean neighborhood mutt whose owner was never responsible enough to keep the dog locked away properly, massacred the hen. Perhaps watching the attack and how it affected people who no longer were able to enjoy eggs as much, has given you a sensitive spot for animals and people in need. Perhaps this is why you fund or work at a soup kitchen.

No one has walked in your exact shoes. So, when you are sensitive about or passionate towards something, don’t let the fact that others don’t “get it” cause you to think something is wrong with you. You simply have a different perspective. And guess what? Those people at the soup kitchen you assist are grateful for your soft spot! You may be the reason more people are helped or that they are able to eat something other than soup. No need to over explain your sensitivity. DO YOU and let those who benefit and appreciate what you have to offer be your focus instead of those who don’t understand you and condemn your position. Point your energy in the right direction! Some may NEVER understand! And while we love them too, we simply don’t debate them about hens, eggs, mean stray dogs or how that relates to being sensitive to those who are in need. They may be totally great at sending you birthday cards, but terrible at relating to or respecting certain sensitivities. If you keep expecting them to give beyond the limited capacity they’ve demonstrated in a given area, whose fault is it that you are repeatedly disappointed? Scan the room of your life and find the person you can talk chicken, hens, mean dogs and soup kitchens with. In a nutshell, appropriate your expectations. You’ll feel much better! Every person in your life is different and everyone brings something to the party. Spoons have a function, and forks a different one. Don’t expect spoons to puncture, nor forks to scoop. Lots of disappointments will be eliminated.

Point #2- Don’t Beat anyone else up over what they aren’t sensitive to.

We can communicate our wishes and still leave people the LIBERTY to be how they CHOOSE to be. Anything beyond communicating our expectations and desires and we slide into manipulating, guilting, nagging and generally feeling unhappy if people don’t behave in a way that makes us comfortable. It’s a control issue in the sense we want to control the behavior of another adult or a control issue in the sense we are giving another human being too much control over our emotional well-being.

THIS IS WHY it is important to get to know people BEFORE investing in deep relationship with them. There are ways they may choose to be that are completely damaging and offensive to you and everything you stand for. Often times we stay in unhealthy relationships because “we’re in it now” and are simply waiting for a person to change. What if they’re happy the way they are? What if it works for them? If you want someone to be different simply because it works better for you, then “they” may not be the issue at all. Kick the selfish habits and seek relationships with people who are like-minded. It’s pretty amazing how well things flow when people within a relationship ascribe to the same or similar foundational convictions. Do you really have time to teach someone to be honest, respectful or decent? Do you want them to practice (pass and fail) on you? I prefer a bit more predictability and stability as I navigate the challenges life brings. I’d prefer not to be hit with “friendly fire”. I already have to tackle the world. I don’t want to tackle or be tackled in the comfort of my own home or personal relationships. I’ve gotta have a safe place somewhere.

Point #3- Stay Tuned…

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Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

Let The Bull Get The Bull…

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I’m alive. That’s significant because as I prayed in the new year I had a very deep feeling that it was my last New Year. I had never felt that before. I was sorta like…ok Lord, but honestly I feel pretty jipped because there’s a LOT that has been promised that hasn’t happened yet. But the only words I uttered were “Be it unto me according to thy will”. And that was that. Then New Year’s Day one of my prophetic sisters messaged me asking if I was okay. I answered in the affirmative and questioned her inquiry. She said she’d had a dream that felt way too real. I told her about my impression and then she told me her dream was that I had died and she was desperately trying to get to my mother in the dream. She said she was crying so badly she woke up out of her sleep. After hearing that I wasn’t sure I’d even make it through the night! I was about an hour from home so my only request was that I didn’t perish in a car wreck. I’m saying “wreck” instead of accident because this is Dallas and if you know anything about the way people drive here, then you get it. People shouldn’t drive the way they do and then call it an accident if they crash!

Y’all may laugh, but I’m serious. I’ve given Him my life and there are just some ways I DON’T desire to die and I’ve chosen to believe He’ll honor that. Now back to my point. After that convo I mentioned all of it to three people (who are trusted sources as it pertains to moves of God in my life) to see what they got. If I did die, I also wanted my mom to know that I knew already and that it was ok. I knew they’d tell her. All of them came back with the same thing. I figured I’d ask one more. Someone on a different continent who may not be as emotional about it if the Lord was showing me passing. I figured my closest friends here may have a more difficult time accepting it because of what they’ve seen me walk through and what they desire to see manifest in my life because of it. But even she came back with the same revelation. All of them prayed and believed the death wasn’t physical, but that something in me was going to die…and needed to. Whew! Ok, brace yourself. Another ride.

I’m only sharing this because of what I shared yesterday. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions. What part have you played in your betrayals and/or disappointments? Do you have a savior complex? Is it difficult for you to say no? Are you always trying to push people whose heels are dug into the ground? Do you want someone’s healing, deliverance or success more than they do? Do you ignore indicators and red flags? Do you use and consult wisdom in HOW you help people? Do you assume people who don’t have integrity in other areas of their lives will demonstrate integrity with you? Do you believe people “have changed” when they haven’t displayed any indication they have? Do you call enablement forgiveness? The list goes on and on.

No one has traveled this life for a significant amount of time without baggage from the trip. I can “hear” insecurities come out of the mouths of the best of them. Who cares! I haven’t met anyone who walks water. The dangerous ones are those who give no thought about dealing with their junk and continue to damage people.Just because a bull has been let loose in a fine china store doesn’t mean you need to sit around watching or attempting to wrangle it. Eventually the bull will get cut by the mess it makes. Walk out, let the bull get tired, then collect the insurance money. Don’t go to every mess you’re invited to! Sometimes you gotta let the bull be the bull and get the bull. Yeah, I said it.

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Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

FEAR- False Expectations Appearing Real

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At least I’ve heard it referenced that way. I hear you: But what if they aren’t false? Deal with it THEN I say! But NOT TODAY!!!

There’s so much going on. So many people are worried about so many things- AND for justifiable reasons. Covid-19 doesn’t result in death for everyone, but it does for some. And honestly, just one fatality was too many. There are loved ones left behind who not only grieve, but grapple with the fact that their loved one died alone, weren’t able to be memorialized sufficiently. This pandemic has taken a toll on the hearts of many. It’s difficult not knowing how the virus will affect any one person. People wonder if they’ll be the asymptomatic one or the one in a coma and on a ventilator. The concerns are real. Then there’s the financial piece. Some people are really being adversely affected as a result of lockdowns slowing business. It’s been a tough year for most of us in that regard.

I get it. We want to slow the curve, but at the same time, how do people live if their businesses are closed? It’s a valid question. Unemployment benefits and/or stimulus checks (for those who qualify) don’t put a dent in what some of us need to live comfortably or pay the bills we’re accustomed to paying.

Having said all of that, I’ve learned some very important stuff, but I want to focus on one today and that is how dangerous fear is. Fear – the perpetual worrying kind, can become the doorway to the exact results you DON’T want. It accomplishes absolutely nothing. It robs us of peace, hope, tranquility and confidence in the fact that things just may NOT turn out as badly as they could. Fear has the power to attract the wrong stuff in your life. You feel it and it sends a signal to the manifestation of that thing. Crazy right?

Look at it this way. If the worse happens, you get to grieve that…appropriately. So just chill. Grief hurts so badly there’s no point in experiencing it twice. Experience it when necessary, but give it no more than that. If the worse never comes to pass, there was no need to experience that ache even once!!!

I’m sure you’ve heard fear neutralizes faith. Let’s just give faith a shot and see what the end will be.

Oh! And read Psalm 46:10a and Isaiah 41:10. Then lie back and imagine the best outcomes with every bit of your imagination you can harness!

Let me know how it goes!

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Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

Wait For It!!!

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I’m back at this Habakkuk 2:3. I have time now to explain why I posted this particular scripture the other morning as I gazed at it in bed. In my other Bible, my favorite one which does NOT leave the house, you may have seen the date this verse REALLY started to mean something to me. It was in 2002. I don’t especially like suffering. I know it is necessary to a degree if we’re going to walk with Christ, but I don’t care at all for UNNECESSARY suffering that we often bring on ourselves.

I’ve learned I’d just rather do things His way rather that force things as a result of my appetites and leaning to my own understanding. His way often takes longer, requires more faith and discipline, etc., but in the long run it is ALWAYS better and safer. The thing about the “appointed time” is that it brings with it all of the support and resources necessary to ensure the success and stability of your vision. All things being in place support the longevity, the protection, the Father’s backing. When He’s the author of it, He takes responsibility for it.

That appointed time though. It can be difficult to wait for it, because the weight of the wait can feel unbearable- ESPECIALLY when you see things and people around you progressing and moving forward. But see where it says it hastens tot he end [fulfillment]? That means it isn’t passive. It isn’t taking its sweet little time. As obedience cultivates a path for it (supports it), all necessary factors pertaining to it are working together in sync to form something beautiful. It will be beautiful.

You aren’t being deceived or tricked. It won’t be half-baked and disappointing. If you’ll just cooperate, it’s as sure as His word. And the best part is that the timing will be perfect. On its appointed day, it won’t be “behind- hand” stalled, late, or broken down on the side of the road. No external factor will be able to stop what God is doing! It will have the power and fortitude to not only show up, but STAND. So, though the vision may tarry, wait for it my friend. Wait for it. You aren’t in a race with anyone. This is your private marathon.

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Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

Change HAD to come…

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All this time, I thought that I missed Him. By the time I graduated from college at 21, I was also an EMT. My plan was to go to grad school for a MS in Medical Science. I wanted to be a PA. I’d already decided medical school would take too long. I’ve always had an interest in medicine and healing- just didn’t love school. I love science and math though. I’m both left and right brained. I still remember the bones of the body. What grade did we learn that? Then after one of my brother’s bouts in the ICU, I became really queasy when I saw blood or vomit, etc.. I didn’t used to be that way. I was taking a few pre-reqs and a classmate caught me during lab (I was fainting) when they cut open the cadaver. I felt like I had to start from square one and figure out my life. That was depressing. A few years later, I looked into nuclear medicine. Back then I wasn’t encouraged to pursue that AND ministry. It was like I was either committed or not (to ministry). So it was HR and then real estate.

Now twenty years later, and 10 years after I started studying non-mainstream modalities, I’m opening a wellness center. I didn’t miss Him! Helping people be Well IS part of my scroll. A few years ago I became frustrated with my level of faith. I felt stagnant. I began to see how so much of my “depth” was RELIGION as opposed to intimacy with Him. I wanted to better understand the invisible I’m supposed to be able to believe for. And I’m the type that needs to understand the fundamental principles of things. I didn’t want to testify about a SUPERNATURAL God, but have a regular, natural, nothing special life. If “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want”, then why did I lack peace, health, loving relationships, abundance, etc.? I also needed to learn how to believe PAST betrayals and disappointments that had crippled my hope. I started studying quantum mechanics (physics) and it really opened me up to the infinite possibilities hidden in faith. I did one thing differently and a new world was unlocked. New places, new people, new connections, new (to me) concepts. Revelations I had in part, fully revealed and explained by generals of the faith. FAITH TO FAITH!!! New tests too! New pains too! New goodness too! I’m content, but I’m not satisfied. There’s more for me to unwrap in Him.

Sometimes all we have is a piece- a tidbit…and timing takes care of the rest. And sometimes SOMETHING DIFFERENT has to be done. I’m not talking about doing something to earn or deserve. I’m talking about doing something to press in to Him harder. I’m just sharing some of my story. Things I haven’t really shared. There’s ALWAYS a story. Is there an old dream you let go of, were talked out of, or figured you were wrong about? Ask Him about it. What if this is the season to breathe on them again? Of no one told you today…. I love you and so does He. #thewellfrequency

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Christianity, Freedom, Healing, Life, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships

Call a Thing a THING!

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Call a tool a tool. Call exposure, exposure. I’ll explain. If you have a five year friendship and friend “A” asks friend “B” to borrow $100 (just an arbitrary figure) with a promise to pay it back and doesn’t, there’s an issue. Your word is your word. If the relationship is fractured and friend “B” goes around reporting that if the friendship is over because of $100, there was never really a friendship, that’s grossly inaccurate. People say those things. I’ve heard it. Then you have people who shake their heads in disapproval that a relationship was ruined over $100 when in fact it WAS NOT. It wasn’t about the money, it was about the disgrace. The $100 just revealed the heart of friend “B”. When friend “B” plans birthday parties, takes vacations, buys things, and continues living life without any concern for the debt they owe, what has been revealed is the lack of honor they have for friend “A” and THAT is what dismantled the friendship. Not thinking enough of their friend to apologize, explain, make payment arrangements, etc.. It isn’t about “the money”, it’s about how you handled your friend and the level of character that causes one to keep their word. Real talk- integrity will cause you to pay back the $100 even if the friendship is over. Integrity will cause you to pay $100 back to a MILLIONAIRE. What they have isn’t your concern, what you owe them is. The check you hand to them could have been the check they tore up. But you never gave yourself the opportunity to be blessed.

Respect and honor in a relationship are highly visible.

People like to say when someone dies that emotions are raw. Yes, they are. But family members don’t fall out BECAUSE emotions are raw. They fall out because in a raw state true character and feelings are revealed and communicated. In a “raw” state, people don’t have the energy to pacify and “cover-up”. So, they say what they mean and do what they feel. You see the real deal.

You didn’t fall out BECAUSE of the pain. You fell out because of what the pain exposed.

I share this because people like to hide. Accountability is uncomfortable for some. So when you think about your fractured relationships, it isn’t “just ” a blouse, a text, $100, a stupid argument, etc.. It’s what those things exposed about the foundation of the relationship. And THAT is why the relationship couldn’t recover.

If someone disappointed you, betrayed you, mishandled you, BLESS THEM, pray God’s best for them. It’s a blessing for the truth to be exposed.

Why don’t relationships that worked “then” work now? You were a different person then. Expectations and needs were different. You’ve raised the bar. Maybe you love yourself now.

For example: Twenty years ago people could talk behind my back, hob knob with those who slandered me, AND be my friend. Now I give them all the space and opportunity in the world to be together and have grand conversation behind my back! Knock yourselves out! Their actions made the choice for them.


I’ll still be kind. You may not even know I’m aware. The gossip was just a tool that exposed.

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Marriage, Prayer

More Time…

/ Kelsi/

“What do you mean she didn’t make it?”   “Sir, her family is in the room, would you like to join them?”   What are you talking about? Dead? Tammy ain’t dead! I just spoke to her this afternoon. Where is she?   Sir, I can take you to the family. You just didn’t make it in time. I’m so …

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