Seasons Change…

Seasons change. I have loved people that I’ve had to release, whether because of death, marriage, miles or just the expiration of a season. As life shifts, sometimes configurations change. You’ve heard it before, you have some relationships for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. Not all endings are bad and bitter.
That said, I cherish the moments, use my words, write letters, send messages and give gifts. I know I mustn’t hold on and prolong anything beyond the season for which it is purposed. I must yield to His plan and respect His course. My endeavor is to make sure that when one reflects across the miles and memories, the sunsets and secrets, the gifts and gains, when a person remembers me and thinks of our time and season of doing life together, they remember honesty, safety, laughter and loyalty…and they simply remember being loved. ❤️❤️❤️ #kelsimarie

Missed Opportunities…

I remember one day at church many years ago, the Holy Spirit told me to go ask an older gentleman…a seasoned elder in our church to lay hands and pray for me. I came up with every excuse imaginable. I was embarrassed to ask. I was afraid of how I would sound. What do I say? Then I said, “Okay, next Sunday…I’ll ask next Sunday.”
God knew, but I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw Him. You really never know when an opportunity will expire…when your season with a person will end.
I’ve repented. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll never know what he would have imparted. I’ll never know what God’s intentions were. I’ll never know how my obedience would have affected my life. My flesh would love to believe I didn’t miss out…that it’s all good…that somehow, some way, SOMETHING has made up for it. But I know God and I know He ALWAYS instructs with purpose.
Years later, I stopped by my parents’ house and my father surprised me and wrote a check. I looked at the amount and said, “Thank you Daddy!” I was in a rush!!! I got to the door and had a fleeting thought to run back and kiss him and tell him I loved him. I didn’t. I was running late. I told myself I’d just come back in a few days. It was the last time I saw him. He passed two days later.
My lesson…there ARE missed opportunities!!!
Sometimes people know what they can’t tell you. Some time later I told my mom I wished I had turned around and run back. What harm would 90 more seconds have done? She told me she asked him what prompted him to write me that check that day. His response, “It’s the last gift I’ll ever be able to give her.”
Friendships expire. Seasons change. Doors close. People die. Folks move away. Life carries people in different directions. Winds of change are often unexpected…. The BEST we can do is maximize moments, make sure people know we love them and that they’re appreciated. Leave a good mark, something that makes people smile when they think of you or remember you.
And WHATEVER He is telling you to do. DO IT!!! Sometimes we’ve only got ONE SHOT to get it right and divinely timed for purpose. Mediocrity and settling present opportunities all day, everyday, as long as you’ll take them.

Jesus IS the middle….

The truth for a Christian, whether you’re ready or not, whether you like it or not, is that Jesus IS the ministry of reconciliation. He is SUPPOSED to be the CENTER of EVERY relationship you have, whether it’s marital, friendship, parental, sibling or otherwise. He will allow EVERY relationship you have to suffer and fall apart, just so that He can reconcile it and be the center of it. No, not to be mean, but because only through Him….only by Him being at the CENTER of the relationship, can you experience the FULLNESS of the blessing the relationship is intended to be. He HAS to be the center!!! I’ve been ruminating this revelation for about three months.
Here’s an example:
Isaac was a promise for Abraham. Sometimes we desire a promise so much and wait so long that when it manifests, we idolize the promise. We serve it and have a greater affection for it than we do God. Sound familiar? God desired to be the CENTER of Abraham and Isaac’s relationship. He has to be the middle, the reconciler. And when Abraham lifted the knife, he proved his faithfulness to God. He chose God over his son, therefore God gave his son back to him (provided a ram in the bush). At that point God became the mediator, the CENTER of the relationship, His rightful place. With order established, every future blessing God intended for Abraham to have through Isaac, could be given. He HAS to be the CENTER!!! Make Him the center so that He doesn’t have to SHOW you He’s the one keeping it together!!! (One of the many things I’ve learned from Bonhoeffer ❤️)

Friendly Fire…

Someone asked me recently if I had a “standard” as it relates to whether or not a person can be my friend. I’d never been asked such a question, but it was a great question. Associates are many, friendships are few (although I use the word too loosely). My response was, “Absolutely! The person just has to be safe. I can’t afford to give personal access and vulnerability to someone who is likely to maim or abuse me. The time I’d have to take to recover, heal and be restored from such close range friendly fire won’t just affect me, but everyone I’m called to affect.”
Mistakes happen and there is such a thing as a hair (hairpin) trigger. The thing is though, the gun should NEVER be pointed at me. Fight beside me, not from behind me.

Who Remembers Jordache?

I was just thinking today about how much I hate INSECURITIES. They are such tricks and tools of the enemy. If we never come in to full agreement with what God says about us or who God says that we are, we will never live the life, steward the ministry or take the territory for God’s kingdom that Christ died for us to take. Insecurities cause us to be timid, shy, depressed, despondent, and just flat out CRAZY at times. And YES, shyness is a form of FEAR. How will I be perceived? What will happen to me? What will people say? Will I be good enough? What will people think? Will I be embarrassed? I could go on and on….. but it’s all FEAR!!! I HATE FEAR!!! God didn’t give that to me!!! We serve a God who takes NO pleasure and has no delight in a drawback spirit. What have you missed out on, what chances did you not take, because of a fear of failure? Better yet, what job, relationships, circumstances have you settled for, because deep inside you didn’t believe you could do or have better? OUCH!
Insecurities have many different faces. Show me a bragger, a self-promoter, a bully, a flaunter and I’ll show you someone as insecure as the person who sits in a corner with their head down…. just a different execution of the same mess.
I remember when I was in the 2nd grade I had a friend who came to school with a turquoise Jordache purse (yes, I’m revealing my age) with fringes hanging from the bottom. OMG!!! That purse was EVERYTHING. See, she had a sister who was several grades ahead of us and shopped in the “juniors” section. Oh, how I loved that purse. She’d even let me wear it for a few minutes at recess.
I remember feeling like the light of the sun shone on her when she wore that purse and like the skies above me were overcast. That one purse made me feel “less than” and insecure. I wanted a Jordache purse like hers!! Not having that one thing, made me lose sight of all of the awesome stuff that I had. It didn’t matter that people fell out over my thick, long, beefy ponytails, my various flavors of Lip Smackers (for the men, those are lip glosses), or whatever new tennis shoes my father had bought me…. it wasn’t the Jordache purse with the fringes on the bottom!!! Insecurities, along with the sins of covetousness, envy and jealousy will make you MISERABLE!!! It will blind you to the fact that some who have never even paid you a compliment will begin doing their make up like yours, style their hair like yours, etc. The mental turbulence just doesn’t allow you to see your own value.The one major thing my childhood friend had that I didn’t, was CONFIDENCE.

This is a comical example of how the adversary slithers into our thoughts to discount everything God has graced us with, all the while, looking to the one thing someone else appears to have, that you don’t. We walk around bogged down with blessings while our sight is set on what we don’t have. How ungrateful!!!
Not long after, my mom bought me the cutest pink little girl’s handbag and I was over the Jordache purse! I completely forgot about it.My point? Don’t fall for the mind trick. Don’t dummy down and get all insecure. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!! And never ever forget you have your own batch of blessings!!!
Never allow the enemy to trick you out of identifying and being grateful for your strengths. If you don’t believe you have them, you will never use them and he wins. You have access to everything you need to run your race, win your battles, finish your course and accomplish your purpose. Find it. Use it. Thank HIM for it!!!

“1 Workout @ A Time”

I have never been more cognizant of my health than I am now, as I stare down the hallway at 40…mid-life…. the age stuff begins to happen if you allow it to. As a youth, I played sports. My freshman … Continue reading

Sometimes You Have To Eat It…..

I could write a very DIRECT status, but instead I will put this in laymen’s terms.
God taught me a lesson a LOOOOOONG time ago that I’ve never forgotten. I, Kelsi, I (emphasis on me) injured a sister at my church and in her pain, she basically yelled it from the mountaintops. Some of what she told people was the truth and some of what she told people were lies. C’mon she isn’t the only one to ever embellish a little due to the sting of pain. In my pride, I was appalled. I began to tell others….”How dare she go around telling people these things!!! She is ruining my reputation! It is so mean for her to tell others what is between she and I- and now she’s started lying!!!”
One day in prayer, the Holy Ghost impressed upon me to STOP and He showed me my fault- my fault alone. At that moment, I realized that the genesis of ALL of it was my transgression against her. I basically overlooked what I had done, to be angry about how she “mishandled” it. With my own sin illuminated before me, I sincerely repented and didn’t look towards her faults anymore. And guess what? In return, for my [now] clean hands, the parts that she shared that were lies, were eventually exposed (yes, it took YEARS). GOD HATES SIN no matter who the culprit is.
You cannot step over your mess in hot pursuit of pointing out someone else’s (Matthew 7:5). You cannot set your own faults aside to deal with how someone else is handling your faults. Your pursuit should be to live above reproach and a life worthy of your calling. With clean hands though, you can plead mercy, especially if others can be hurt. Yes, all of us have been lied on, and someone bearing false witness is a different topic. Here I am referring to when you KNOW you have done wrong, but choose not to take responsibility, all the while, playing victim, angry and upset that someone shared it.
The next time someone gossips about you, before becoming indignant, repent for whatever TRUTH there is in what they are saying, next become resolved that you will not give the enemy anything else to work with, and finally, ask that the truth of the matter be exposed and any lies dispelled. I learned this SOOOO early in my walk with Christ. And I will teach here that you CANNOT be a mature christian without understanding this fundamental element of integrity.
Sometimes if you don’t start none, there won’t be none….. (improper use of english language noted)

Thirsty for Mercy….

Jonah 1 & 2

“I will pay that which I have vowed…”

We’ve all done it-  we have experienced the glory of God and His loving presence has rested on us, and we’ve responded…”reveal your will for my life”…”make me, mold me”…”have your way with me”….”Lord just send me and I’ll go”. How.many.times.have.we.said.these.things?

And we mean it until what He requires of us rests on the outside of our comfort zone. We want to serve God, but we don’t want to seem “odd”, be embarrassed or go against the grain in comparison to the other christians we know.

Too often, our unspoken sentiment is- “I want to serve God, but I don’t want it to require that I do stuff I don’t like to do.” HOW HUMAN OF US!!! 🙂

I see this story now very differently than I used to. Before, I perceived the belly of the big fish as punishment for Jonah’s disobedience. Now I perceive it as a manifestation of God’s love and grace. Not just for Jonah, but the people attached to His assignment.

He could’ve died…

After being thrown overboard, he could have drowned. He could have been eaten by a shark. He could have had his lungs poked and punctured by a swordfish. He could have gotten tired of fighting the currents and simply given in to the sea.

BUT….

God PREPARED a big fish to keep him safe and give him time to come to himself.

The fish didn’t digest him, but held him in its dark, dank, putrid stomach long enough for Jonah to cry out.

Gosh, he sounded like David.

Gosh, he sounded like me.

He remembered…there was a time he vowed his life- and in his repentant state and right mind, he determined again to pay the vow he made.

He’s the God of  “another chance”…..

He repented, God commanded, the fish spit, and land was there. So often we think we are the ones waiting for our “next”. How interesting is the notion that everything is lined up where and how it is supposed to be and is waiting for us, our thoughts, our actions…. our obedience.. to… LINE UP with THE agenda that will save the very lives we are guarding?

I’m thirsting to be more like Him. Let that be our prayer today sisters- that He will show us every way we work against His plan for us.

#shereadstruth

Come Quickly God- I’m Thirsty for Relief ~ Kelsi Marie

I have a wonderful band of sisters that I study with. We are called the She Reads Truth community. Talk about hearts that ooze with love! Each member was invited to write and share a devotional for the Friday scriptures during Lent. I love my sisters and I am so excited that we are sharing our hearts with one another.

My Devotional for the 38th Psalm:

O-wa

M-ma

G-eeeee

Have you ever felt so low, so regretful, so remorseful, so scorned, so NOT supported, so abandoned and so depressed that even death seemed like a kinder fate?

It can get that bad. It may not for everyone, but I’m grateful for a psalm that can reach that low and comfort anyone who can relate. What I appreciate here is that David acknowledges he is not innocent. Yet he makes it clear that his “foolishness” has landed him in a spot where he is way over his head. He is hurting. God’s anger is hurting him, the weight of his iniquities is hurting him, the abandonment he feels is hurting him, the circumstances, the sickness, the mourning, the suffering….

He’s Hurting.

He’s DESPERATE.

Only God can quench his thirst for relief. Relief from his burning insides, the fiery darts of his family and friends and the scorching plots for his demise. Sometimes we sink so low that the only words we want to hear are God’s. I’ve been in a place where I didn’t want to hear another “positive thought”, well intentioned opinion, or “let’s get you cheered up” speech. It wouldn’t surprise me if I even told someone from my emotional abyss “if God didn’t tell you, then don’t say it, PLEASE”. I have been so desperate for HIM that I only wanted to hear what HE had to say. Sisters, sometimes we are so fragile that we thirst for the word that CANNOT fail. The thought of another [financial, relational, mental, emotional or physiological] “failure” seems like too much to bear. In those moments we whisper, “I just need God”.

From that drought, you begin to feel the “only God can help me” appreciation for His strength. ALL honor and glory rightfully belong to a God more than powerful enough to overturn and reverse the despair that makes one feel more dead than alive. He can turn it !

He can turn ANYTHING.

We won’t move until He comes, because only His way do we want to go.

Come God- COME QUICKLY!

Parched is an understatement- a feeling of being dried up and nearly blowing away into emotional oblivion is more like it.

But God…

He can change ANYTHING.

Come God, COME QUICKLY.

I’m waiting- thirsty for you.

Sisters, today, let’s pause and pray that God “comes quickly” for any and every one of us that is in despair and is waiting in an emotional wildnerness for God to CHANGE EVERYTHING.

Heart Strings…

This is a picture of heart strings. Can you see how fragile they are? These heart strings can break after a deep emotional trauma, causing the heart to lose form and no longer pump blood effectively. Yes, one can literally die from a broken heart. I am posting this because I really want people to consider the impact they have on others AND the necessity of emotional restoration. Do you know anyone that died too soon? Do you know anyone with a “bad heart”? Do you know anyone (including yourself) that gives the APPEARANCE of soaring in the spirit, but privately, are really just one disappointment away from a breakdown?
So, you want to know why I do what I do- why my messages are so often about emotional healing? One cannot live the abundant life Christ died for them to live without taking the mask off and having their heart RESTORED. You laugh ON TOP OF THE PAIN- preach ON TOP OF THE PAIN- get into another relationship ON TOP OF THE PAIN- act bitterly ON TOP OF THE PAIN, act like nothing is wrong ON TOP OF THE PAIN, joke around ON TOP OF THE PAIN, but the pain is real. And you are LYING. Dis-ease eventually manifests in disease. Arthritis, asthma, cancer, congestive heart failure, diabetes…..(need I go on) are all rooted in a TRAUMA that becomes the DOOR the enemy used to access the temple. There are some you will NEVER fool, simply because the God on the inside of us can SEE the pain- and furthermore, SEE that you haven’t yielded to the healing PROCESS. For the love of God…get healed!!! 

If you want help or know someone who does, have them contact me. I will help. Prayer, exposure, root work….you WILL have to deal with it. THIS IS NOT A GAME- THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!

Emotional Healing Coach
info@kelsimarie.com
www.clarityisdivine.com

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